Meaningful Conversation is Key to Happiness

http://www.physorg.com/news189188045.html

This post from Psychorg really hits the nail on the head. I feel that far too many people are without this essential happiness in our lives. Read up to see if you agree.

America, US.

The sun rises, lighting brilliantly small businesses, the dirt mixing with long fields of grass and expanses of corn. Smoke rises from warehouses and homes, mingling in the bluest sky. It is a fall morning. An American morning. The sun burns the moisture from the Rockies, The diminishing expanse of the Everglades. The sun falls on this land the same as it has these past 234 years, and more. There are people going to work, to play, pursuing the freedom of a choice to make their lives as they see fit, within their own power. This is US.

Our land. Given to us by the exertions of our ancestors. What will we make of it? More than anything else, America has been a place of potential. Yet many of the people in this nation have expectations that have developed over more than half a century that don’t fit within the boundaries given by our constitution. The idea of the United States has changed over time, amended with the changes in history. The flexibility of the laws of this land has given us strength, but it has also been challenged since it’s birth by people who desire to use it as a mechanism of control. Laws can limit the power of the greedy, and also keep safe the freedom of many. But it can also be turned against the people. My people.

An American is any person who wishes to pull together in the boundaries of free will, to protect that right when called upon, and to enjoy it as a member of this nation. Whether you wish to live “the strenuous life” as coined by Teddy Roosevelt, or to create new technologies like Einstein or Graham Bell, or build an empire of steel like Carnegie, or to paint a picture of our identity, using words like Steinbeck or Twain, or the building like Wright, or to live a good life and raise a new generation like the millions who came before us, we live and die a member of this American Nation in debt to those who have died to protect it when threatened.

But some of those who are born of this nation have chosen to make it their goal to take advantage of the flexibility of our constitution. Many politicians allow themselves to be controlled by their own greed, or that of the companies that pay them. This is not a new threat, but it promises to choke the life out of our American Dream.

That term, American Dream, is not a new one. In the early part of the twentieth century, it stood as a beacon, a term of hope, to those that came from abroad. And though there has always been turmoil when new groups have come to this land to make their own place, it is clear that, unlike the despots of Russia or the Castes of India, if a person has a goal to work hard, it is possible to go as far as he can carry himself. It is not guaranteed.

Many people who work in this land, or come to this country, have been influenced by the growing consumerism culture that we are now inundated with. It fills our televisions, we see it every day as a challenge, who has the best home, car, and vacations. But what has changed since the 1950s is the goal itself. Economic experts, after the second world war, saw that the demand for goods during the war produced economic surplus and growth. They presented a model to the companies and the government, believing that the only way to stimulate continued growth was to continue or create a demand for new goods. So, instead of making things that people needed, they decided to plant in the American mind a desire to continually buy new things, because they were desired, and not needed.

For a time this continued to work. The American life was a good one. We built homes, closer and closer together, bigger, space for more cars. In the late 1970s the companies began to build products that failed after a certain amount of time, to increase demand. Styles and trends advertised next year’s products, and the family with the several year old car felt excluded.

The American Dream has been to pursue happiness. But in this exponential spiral of consumerism, I challenge anyone to feel truly happy with a new computer or car. If your happiness is based on the age or style of material goods, then it is destined to be ever challenged by the new production of goods. And, we are encouraged to take credit cards, loans on homes we could not afford, and live the lifestyle just out of our financial reach. The corporations and banks that promote this to make profit believe that they are the winners in this situation, but in reality, there are none.

If you spend money that you do not have, to stimulate companies whose bad decisions, who have played into this game of loan, buy, obsolescence, loan, buy, are failing because the people they depend on to buy their goods are not happy.

Education, one of the most important tools to creating well informed intelligent Americans, is suffering. Many years ago, teaching was considered a high calling. It is, still, in other countries in the world. But for the first Democratic country with universal education as a requirement, we have gone a long way to determining that teachers and students are at a huge disadvantage. They are paid badly, and taxed heavily with loans. The Federal Food Stamp program was started to invest in the future of college students, to help them with expenses. It was only during Johnson’s administration that it was extended to other people. Now hardly any college students know that they qualify for the aid.

Since learning in school isn’t valued (when was the last time most 17 year olds thought American History was cool?) in society, the result is that instead of knowing who we are, and what our founding fathers intended, we know when the newest gen Ipod is coming out. How can we create great citizens if they are being used as cash cows and not treated as people?

I have no answers to this, only more questions. How have we let it get this far? How will we combat it? Another installment is sure to follow.

Research in Fiction.

I’ve discovered a startling fact about myself.

I’m a researcher.

Historians, Non-fiction writers, reporters, and the like all do research to learn more about their topic. When I think of such a worker, I imagine Shelby Foote. I think of Ken Burns. I never thought of myself as someone who had to learn about his topic before he sat down to write it. Amazingly, that’s exactly what I’ve been doing these past months.

My novel project takes place in the far future, hundreds of years from now. It’s not a post-apocalyptic novel in the modern sense, like I Am Legend (The BOOK!). It’s about a world that has arisen from ashes, a world in which we as humans face some of the very issues that plague us today– racism, discrimination, and a terrible tendency to throw aside works of power and beauty to make a buck– and yet we are removed in this far-future from our current hatreds and racial groups. the slate is clean, and we can look these issues naked, square in the face. In it, I hope to capture what drives humanity most, the truth of existence that escapes most of us in this material world.

What does this have to do with research? Well, where does that world come from? My head and my heart. but it has to be worked out. the customs of the world, the way it works, the people, even the way their shoes look must come from my words. First, I have to research how this world exists. I am as much a cultural anthropologist as those in that field. I dare anyone to say truthfully why a course in architecture, or economics, in art, or many others cannot aid me in this task? In order to be able to create such a world one must be versed in many diverse topics so as to have training and examples to make their own imaginary world believable.

Tolkien did this with language. Since I have not been trained thoroughtly in that, I’ll have to make it come to life in other ways, things which I have an affinity for. Sculpture, architecture, art. Technology, warfare, seamanship. Agriculture, politics, society. Spiritualism, religion, faith. These are where my world will come alive. These are my specialties. And so, on with the research.

Amorphosity of Language

In the age of instant messenger and Facebook, our language is undergoing alterations which are far different than any it has undergone before. The essence of speech has taken a turn for the surreal. Instead of Norman invasions or linguistic revision by learned men, we are undergoing change by popular culture.

It’s not as if popular culture hasn’t changed language before, but now in the information age, there is faster growth of linguistic alteration without the necessary sifting of time. It has been the job of the linguist throughout eternity not to shape language, but to study and quantify it. Now it seems that our language is changing faster than we can keep up with it.

I have been hearing new phrases that are confusing, like “epic fail” or “That’s so rude.” I wonder if others who grow older are beset by this perplexion so early. I mean, my parents probably don’t say “far out, man” anymore, but it probably took a good few decades before it was totally eradicated. we still say something is cool to denote that we like it, like when I was younger. I believe that the typing culture of our day is altering the way we speak, and think. As Jack Matthews, a good friend of mine, used to say, “The limits of language are the limits of our world” and so they are.

I wonder, though, if it isn’t happening too fast. there must be grammatical rules and distinct meanings for slang and regular English. if we allow the language of LOL to enter into our college academics then we are destined to fail. I recently was made aware of a student paper which was full of “haha’s”  and “LOL.” apparently I’m not alone. Other TA’s and professors have the same problem.

If we become accustomed to this type of communication, I also fear that the less time we spend in front of actual people, we may lose the ability to succeed socially. If we learn to read emotions from emoticons ( ) then we may lose the ability (albeit slowly) to read those of humans.

Invite people over to grill. Talk with them. Smile. Think about what you type before you hit enter. it shapes the way people think of you, and respect you.

The Stuff of Life

If I was told that I had one year left to live, there’s no doubt in my mind what I would spend it doing.

I would work on my novel.

The desire for a human being to be recognized as a significant positive force in the lives of others is the most fundamental and fulfilling motivation in the human experience. The American dream of financial domination and entrepreneurial ecstasy can approximate this feeling, but many people have said before me that money won’t bring happiness. Acknowledgement by your peers will. J.R.R. Tolkien, Dickens, Faulkner, and Stevenson all achieved something that no money can truly buy.

More than any other thing in life, satisfaction in personal achievement is what makes one feel like they matter. Even if you build the worlds tallest house of cards, and moments later the wind blows it down, you’ll know: I did it. That feeling is more important than owning the biggest TV, the priciest car, or anything that money can get.

Go get what you want. Do the thing that makes your blood boil, your heart leap. That is the stuff of life.

Social Intelligence

Why is it that I post at the very beginning of the month, then at the end? 

 

Daniel Goleman’s book, Social Intelligence, has been on the bestseller list for a long time. It’s a psychologist’s version of How to Win Friends and Influence People. The beauty behind this book is that it shows us physiologically how our bodies react to emotions and how we can become more aware of those feelings that affect minutely and intensely how we live. 

Ever wonder why women are from Venus? Goleman explains how men and women have developed keenly different emoional bodies, Men involving themselves in competition and feats of strength from an early age, and women developing strong emotional and intrapersonal skills in smaller, close-knit groups. 

After reading this book, I was able to more fully become aware of the role that emotions play n my own body. This book has helped me in everything from understanding how my emotions were first seated as evolutionary adaptations, and how outmoded some ways of thinking are, to being able to strengthen the relationships in my life through mutual understanding.

My advice: check it out.

Write like Romans

Tolkien wasn’t published often in graduate school. He wrote few papers, although those he did publish, for example Beowulf: the Monsters and the Critics, were highly influential. He had a low quantity, high quality body of work.

Why are we judged by the quantity of publications we have under our belts as students now? Our legacy as writers won’t be buoyed by a mound of crap. Why encourage grad students to devote their energies to spitting out as many pages as burgeoning carpel tunnel will allow?

Allow minds to relax; peruse what they can, and in time choose something which sparks interest. The papers produced then would be varied, creative, and few. Few, which is good because there would be more quality and less bull to wade through. We’d have less reading that was more useful to our academic and intellectual unfoldment.

Even more importantly our own sense of identity and self-worth will be greater as writers.

The Romans were one of the most successful civilizations in human history. Their power spanned millenia and the territory they controlled was vast. Yet their workday was surprisingly short. They would rise around sunup, go to the forum where they would conduct their business. Around noon, there would be a siesta to escape the hottest part of the day and to eat lunch. after that, they would take an hour or so to wrap up their affairs and call it a day. This data was taken from information found at Pompeii.

How did the Romans accomplish so much with so little time?

They were efficient, they worked hard when they were supposed to, and they took time to come home and be with their families and, most importantly, to relax.

Why can’t we live like Romans? Let’s do good quality work, and less of it. After all, one needs time to be human every day.

On Education

I was homeschooled, and with good reason: the public school I could have gone to for free was below par, substandard in almost every area, and the people (even teachers!) by and large did not care about education. I personally believe that one of the greatest crises in our America today is the lack of and attitude towards schooling. From the moment we are first dropped off to kindergarten to the day we graduate high school and beyond, people in general aren’t exited to learn.

It’s fun to hang out with your friends. I understand. Console and computer games are fun, and now I know that bars have their entertaining points. Sometimes, sitting in a classroom listening to an unskilled lecturing proffessor is not what I want to do. But I know one thing: if I do not take it upon myself to be better educated, then I cannot be a productive and helpful member of our great country. most of the problems we have could be solved simply by being better informed as citizens.

for example, the elections of 04, 08. the candidates were both sub-standard in my opinion. they threw alot of classic political BS at us, and whoever degraded the other’s character the most won. this is bullshit. We need a great leader, not a great slanderer. We need someone who isn’t just interested in what they want. Because people act like sheep, ineffective leaders take the helm. 

let me let you in on something I’ve learned. The electoral college was invented during the late 1700′s by the founding fathers to help control election results. It consists of delegates that are appointed to choose the president. the reason that it exists at all was because the founding fathers decided that, even though everyone could vote, the general population was still too uneducated to make a good decision on who to vote for. if there is still an electoral college, it shows that almost two and a half centuries of American education has not advanced us much from the 1700′s.

I’m glad that I was home schooled. I learned different things that I would have If I had stayed in public school, like details on the Electoral College. on the other hand, I missed out on alot of social stuff too. I’m happy I have the grasp of the world that I do, and even though sometimes it’s hard nowadays because I have to learn all the relationship stuff that everyone else already did in high school, I am the individual that my family wanted me to be.

Responsibillery?

What constantly suprises me is that I am getting things done in life, and having fun at the same time. I always thought that growing up meant that the world slowly took on a black and white tone, like an episode of I Love Lucy. Your fingers would wrinkle over the years, those age marks creeping up your arms like some god-forsaken plague bent on reaching your face. Each morning as you head off to a job you would’nt like, you peer into the mirror at someone else’s face, old, depressed and haggard. 

That isn’t my life. 

I don’t feel like my life is work at all. I’m happy to get up, and my work engages me to the point where those close to me can’t pry me away from the screen. 

The life of a student may not appeal to everyone, but for me it contains the most exiting thrills that can be had in a vertical position. I live for exitement and stimulus, and there is nothing like the jolt one gets from a masterfully crafted story. Or, for that matter, sharing it with others who appreciate the jolt as much as you. 

Responsibility? I have none. My world is joy. I have the gift of growing my mind through tales. What a glorious life!

The Realness of the Dark Knight

Batman was by far the coolest hero for me as a child, next to Obi-Wan Kenobi and Gandalf the Grey. At the time, I was probably most attracted by the arsenal of gadgets portrayed in the 1989 film, including the jet-powered batmobile. Being a self-proclaimed inventor, I emulated Wayne’s example and produced my own array of somewhat less lethal crime fighting gear.

Why was Batman so interesting then, and more importantly why is he still to this day? The Dark Knight has existed since 1939, and has only recently (the last few decades) shed his dualistic approach to justice and assumed his rightful role as a superhero who is conflicted, imperfect, and perhaps most significantly, human. Batman is the only major DC or Marvel hero who isn’t an alien, has no mutations, and who is deeply complicated emotionally and psychologically. In other words, Batman is attainable.

If I were 4 years old again and were asked what I wanted to be when I grew up (although I still don’t know the answer), if I answered “Batman” there would be a small possibility, however faint, that I could comport myself in a cowl and tights and fund a secret cavern full of technology used to fight crime. At least until the authorities showed up and packed me off to the loony bin.

Silliness aside, the most important thing I learned from Batman is what it takes to create a character who can stand the test of time. Amidst all the legions of superheroes created by others to populate my adolescent mind, Batman was the only one who was real. This single fact makes him more tangible and more attractive to the armies of comic book and movie fans.

So why do we care?

I’ve been trying to develop several characters over the last several years for a work in progress. It is to be a modern epic as I see them. A fractured world where growth and conflict, as well as growing technology have shoved many diverse ethnic groups into one blender. The trick here, I have decided, is that in order to make a story good, its characters must not only be memorable and believable, but their dialogue mustn’t feel forced. they need a voice of their own. You need to be able to think of a question to ask them, and deduce what they probably would say based on who they are. They need to become real.

This is what Batman has become for me. He has a past, nightmares, fears. The reason that he is so memorable is that he has those fears, and the bravery to overcome them. That’s the source of my admiration for The Dark Knight. And it needs to be in the characters I create as well. I need to be able to make a framework that I can breathe life into which will then move about on its own, laughing and crying to its own individual tune.